Before I even begin, I have to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Mighty Man!!! :) :) MM, I am so proud of you. So blessed by you. So honored to be your fiance. I always prayed for a man who would be brave enough to fight for me, and the Lord answered in the most clear and perfect way. You are my knight in shining armor, and I pray I can be the princess you deserve who rescues you right back. :) Love you!!
Okay...Gushy stuff aside. :)
It's been more than a month since I posted. Good grief! The time is flying! So many good things are taking place right now, but it feels like a I'm caught in a tornado screaming for my Auntie Em right now. :) But I think that's how life goes when you've got a reeeeeeally amazing life transition approaching. :)
Sooooo...We're getting married in less that seven weeks!!! Holy cow!! :) SO exciting! And this weekend I get to move into the place we'll be renting and start setting up shop before the Mighty Man joins me in October. I had my first bridal shower this weekend (THANK YOU to my amazing sister and friends for the most wonderful day!!), and we got the invitations and envelopes. Now...If I could only get a few minutes to address them. haha! :) Don't think you aren't invited if you don't get them until September 1. :) I'm breaking protocol on the 6-week rule, but only by a few days. It's just life.
Okay, so on top of all the wedding amazingness, I'm trying to pack up my apartment, which is taking a while. I spent time packing up the bookshelf yesterday and had forgotten just how complex of a task it is to pack books. It's like packing a jigsaw puzzle! You have to have the right sizes fit in the right spaces in order to maximize the box, which can't be too big, otherwise you won't be able to lift it. haha! It's a challenge! But it's fun. I rediscovered some of the books I'd stashed away that had meant a lot to me in the past. (Anyone remember my 6-month adventure of first dates back in 2006-ish? Yeah. TOTALLY found that book. haha!) But the books took a looooooooong time to pack. So, I'm having fun, but I'm like, "Okay...And I have how long until I move?"
Then, there's been work. I'm SOOOOOOOOOO excited!! I've picked up several more projects from the place I write blogs for, and it's been fantastic to spend my days researching different businesses and writing for their blogs. I couldn't think of a more fun job if I tried! And I've turned into a virtual encyclopedia. I even got to help my parents salvage their home foundation by sharing with them the need to put soaker hoses around the house perimeter to keep that part of the soil moist. haha! Again, huge blessing.
Of course, then you have the wedding planning itself. Like the invitations. YES!!! Praise God!!! I've always wanted wedding invitations and thought for years what mine would look like. Now they're in, and I'm so excited. They're GORGEOUS thanks to AMac and her amazing design. I can't wait to send them out! :) And the shot list for the photographers that I'm supposed to turn in. I get to look around online for wedding photos that I like so that they can see what kind of poses I want. And the playlist. I get to figure out what music we want at the reception. And the hotel rooms. And the tuxes. And the wedding ring for my MM. :) :) So much fun!!!
So little time!!! Hahahaha!
I've hit that point in life when there is physically not enough time to get everything done. And it's the first time I'm mature enough to call a spade a spade. To this point, I've always thought I could handle everything and do everything. I'd just kill myself trying to get everything done, not having any fun in the process and miss doing anything to completion. But I'm realizing now that maybe there's a better way. Maybe I have a choice. Maybe I can choose what gets done and what gets either delegated or delayed. :) Maybe I can ask for help. :)
Odd concept.
But at age 32, I'm finally realizing that I can choose. For so long, my life has dictated me. I've just kind of followed whatever was happening and not really chosen what was best. But a passage in Deuteronomy really caught my attention the other day. My Might Man shared this with me at a particularly difficult moment. It says: "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live..." (Deut. 30:19).
God gives us minds. He gives us the power to choose. Life doesn't dictate us. We choose our actions. We choose to follow His leading, trusting that He has a good plan for us. We don't have to be dragged around by circumstances or busyness, which I'm convinced is a ploy of the enemy. He's trying to steal my joy out of EVERYTHING lately simply by telling me that I don't have time and that nothing will ever get done. But that's not true. And I can tell him it's not true. My God has everything under control (Jeremiah 29:11; Romans 8:28), and He has given me everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). I don't have to believe the lie that I have to stress out and foresake the joy of the good things around me. I can CHOOSE to have joy in the midst of chaos, realizing that God has a plan and that the enemy can't touch it. If I simply follow in God's ways, He'll take care of everything and give me favor where I need it. I just need to choose to follow Him and prioritize according to what He's set before me.
It's actually a good lesson in choosing what is important. I get to determine priorities now instead of prioritizing EVERYTHING. Now I can choose what matters most and focus on that instead of trying to put out every 5-alarm fire in life. Nope. I only have so much energy and time, and I need to let go of the rest. And I thnk that's key to finding God's joy--choosing His path and trusting Him to take care of the rest. :)
So, now if you find yourself dancing to the same song over and over at our wedding reception, you'll know why. haha! At least I'll try to pick a good one.:) Just kidding. God will make time for that...Later.
Love you all! :)
- Jill
Monday, August 20, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Season of Change
Since I last posted, there have been a few new developments in my life. I now love saurkraut, which I always thought smelled too gross to even taste but actually tastes amazing on rye with turkey, mustard and a little corned beef. And I also absolutely LOVE One Direction. haha! That song "Beautiful" or whatever it's called is the new constant play on my iPod. And, I'm happy to admit that I enjoy Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato, Carly Rae Jepsen and pretty much any of the five songs they play over and over on pop radio stations. :)
Other discoveries and developments? Turns out that Extra's Apple Pie and Mint Chocolate Chip gums are pretty much the standard for gum perfection now, along with light blue Stride. :) And even black decaffeinated coffee gets the job done when there's no alternative. :) Toaster Strudels and Pop Tarts won't actually kill you (even if it may seem like it at the time), and the inventor of mac and cheese was really hitting the mark. While I retain the right to use whole wheat pasta and fat free sour cream with my cheese, I am delighted to have made the connection here. And, last but not least, I've discovered that running is actually fun! It's just like anything else you love; you learn to really appreciate it when it's taken away from you for a time. I'm so thankful that my old friend is back, and I pray that we can find balance, peace and joy on the road.
The most important discovery I learned over the past month, however, was that life is full of change. (This might seem a little elementary to the rest of you, but I'm just now figuring this out.) There are times when things that are out of your control just rock your world, and you just have to find your way through it because there's no other choice.
That's where I've been: to the land of no comfort zone. To the land of everything being taken away and turned upside down. To the point at which I was literally on my knees realizing that I had nothing but Jesus. Everything that was comforting to me was gone. Absolutely every single tangible person and thing that had brought me solace was removed. Praise God.
I've been having trouble looking back on the experience as positive because of the amount of anxiety that it produced, but now removed from it I can see it as a huge gift. Only here could I ever have learned that our Father is truly all we need.
When people say that, it's not that they're saying we don't need money or food or water or shelter--duh. I'm finding that they're talking about emotions and mentality. We all have certain things that bring us comfort. Things like people, hobbies, foods, substances of all kinds, habits, places, etc. While these aren't bad things (blessings if held properly and aren't illegal), they can certainly keep us from seeing Christ clearly in His role as the first love of our lives--the only One who can satisfy us at the deepest and most intimate level.
Think about your greatest source of comfort. Is it a person? Is it sleep? Is it a substance? Is it a hobby? Is it your job? What if it was taken away? That can be an anxiety-producing thought. Now imagine ALL of your comforts being taken away. No loved ones. No home environment. No favorite foods. No familiar habits or pastimes. Imagine that all you have is a room with walls, food, water and a few strangers around you. Okay, even take the other people away. What do you do? How do you react?
No, this wasn't the severity of my situation. I'm just painting a worst-case scenario so that we all can realize the point. When Christ is all you have, you learn that Christ is all you need.
He's not an object that can be removed from our lives. He's not a cigarette that will be burned away. He's not a piece of pie that will eventually end or a piece of gum that will lose its flavor. He's not a good night's sleep that eventually brings an alarm. He's not even a human relationship that will eventually end either death or a breakup. He's eternal. He's forever. He's the beginning and the end. And the best part is that He loves us so much that He died for us and offers us an intimate relationship unlike anything we will ever experience here on earth. Not with people or things. He alone is constant.
Last night I read Hebrews 13. I know I've read verse 8 at least a thousand times, but last night I really understood it: "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
Life is full of change. People come and go, and things are given and taken away. If we are holding onto these things so tightly that we can't see our eternal Lord, we will be crushed when they are removed. Thankfully for me, while I was devastated for a time, I was quickly rescued by God and His truth--that He would never leave me (also in Hebrews 13).
I have no idea where you're at or what you're clinging to for comfort, but I want to encourage you with this: Enjoy your comforts, but make sure you are enjoying them as temporary gifts from the Giver. Don't find your everything in anything that can and will be taken away by life and time. People and things were never meant to bring us constant peace--that can only be found in God alone.
If you have been clinging to anything above Him, I totally challenge you to reprioritize so that when it's time to let go of it, you will be able to do so with a peaceful heart. Or, you can just be hard-headed like me and let it happen before you're ready. :) Either way, do know that the Lord will be there, waiting to show you His faithfullness, peace and love. And that will never change.
Hugs to you all! :)
- Jill
Other discoveries and developments? Turns out that Extra's Apple Pie and Mint Chocolate Chip gums are pretty much the standard for gum perfection now, along with light blue Stride. :) And even black decaffeinated coffee gets the job done when there's no alternative. :) Toaster Strudels and Pop Tarts won't actually kill you (even if it may seem like it at the time), and the inventor of mac and cheese was really hitting the mark. While I retain the right to use whole wheat pasta and fat free sour cream with my cheese, I am delighted to have made the connection here. And, last but not least, I've discovered that running is actually fun! It's just like anything else you love; you learn to really appreciate it when it's taken away from you for a time. I'm so thankful that my old friend is back, and I pray that we can find balance, peace and joy on the road.
The most important discovery I learned over the past month, however, was that life is full of change. (This might seem a little elementary to the rest of you, but I'm just now figuring this out.) There are times when things that are out of your control just rock your world, and you just have to find your way through it because there's no other choice.
That's where I've been: to the land of no comfort zone. To the land of everything being taken away and turned upside down. To the point at which I was literally on my knees realizing that I had nothing but Jesus. Everything that was comforting to me was gone. Absolutely every single tangible person and thing that had brought me solace was removed. Praise God.
I've been having trouble looking back on the experience as positive because of the amount of anxiety that it produced, but now removed from it I can see it as a huge gift. Only here could I ever have learned that our Father is truly all we need.
When people say that, it's not that they're saying we don't need money or food or water or shelter--duh. I'm finding that they're talking about emotions and mentality. We all have certain things that bring us comfort. Things like people, hobbies, foods, substances of all kinds, habits, places, etc. While these aren't bad things (blessings if held properly and aren't illegal), they can certainly keep us from seeing Christ clearly in His role as the first love of our lives--the only One who can satisfy us at the deepest and most intimate level.
Think about your greatest source of comfort. Is it a person? Is it sleep? Is it a substance? Is it a hobby? Is it your job? What if it was taken away? That can be an anxiety-producing thought. Now imagine ALL of your comforts being taken away. No loved ones. No home environment. No favorite foods. No familiar habits or pastimes. Imagine that all you have is a room with walls, food, water and a few strangers around you. Okay, even take the other people away. What do you do? How do you react?
No, this wasn't the severity of my situation. I'm just painting a worst-case scenario so that we all can realize the point. When Christ is all you have, you learn that Christ is all you need.
He's not an object that can be removed from our lives. He's not a cigarette that will be burned away. He's not a piece of pie that will eventually end or a piece of gum that will lose its flavor. He's not a good night's sleep that eventually brings an alarm. He's not even a human relationship that will eventually end either death or a breakup. He's eternal. He's forever. He's the beginning and the end. And the best part is that He loves us so much that He died for us and offers us an intimate relationship unlike anything we will ever experience here on earth. Not with people or things. He alone is constant.
Last night I read Hebrews 13. I know I've read verse 8 at least a thousand times, but last night I really understood it: "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
Life is full of change. People come and go, and things are given and taken away. If we are holding onto these things so tightly that we can't see our eternal Lord, we will be crushed when they are removed. Thankfully for me, while I was devastated for a time, I was quickly rescued by God and His truth--that He would never leave me (also in Hebrews 13).
I have no idea where you're at or what you're clinging to for comfort, but I want to encourage you with this: Enjoy your comforts, but make sure you are enjoying them as temporary gifts from the Giver. Don't find your everything in anything that can and will be taken away by life and time. People and things were never meant to bring us constant peace--that can only be found in God alone.
If you have been clinging to anything above Him, I totally challenge you to reprioritize so that when it's time to let go of it, you will be able to do so with a peaceful heart. Or, you can just be hard-headed like me and let it happen before you're ready. :) Either way, do know that the Lord will be there, waiting to show you His faithfullness, peace and love. And that will never change.
Hugs to you all! :)
- Jill
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