Eight totally random thoughts...

Random thoughts of the weekend. . .

1. I love half-popped kernels of popcorn. I have no idea why, but I think they're awesome. As soon as the bag comes out of the microwave, I'll dump it out onto a paper towel and strategically dig for the unpopped and half-popped kernels first.

2. Just finished reading "Mansfield Park" by Jane Austen. Not the BEST book ever, but cute and fun. You can always count on Jane Austen for a good happily-ever-after, though this one's love story doesn't actually unfold until the last eight pages of the book. But the more I read her the more I can see her faith background. Her dad was a pastor, and she writes with such a theme of divine providence. Everything ends as it should, and all things work together for good. This one totally could have been summed up by Romans 8:28 and all the verses that talk about waiting on God.

3. As a single woman, one of my biggest battles is definitely finding identity in my job and career. It's shocking how much time I spend thinking about it or working toward some greater end. Undoubtedly it has to do with the fact that I don't have a family at a stage of life in which I thought I would. But it's becoming such an interesting mental puzzle--one that is being pieced together daily by God. It seems like He uncovers a new thought/truth/lie/fact about this present situation every day. Today's thought--and do NOT shoot me for this; I'm just being honest--was if women should hold high workplace leadership positions when we are designed by God in a far different way than men. I'm just thinking based on my own workaholic tendencies that have played out somewhat unhealthfully. It's not something I'm concluding, I'm just saying it's a thought. :) But, as I don't have a husband or family, what else would I be doing but working? But, if I hadn't dived into the career so heartily and had spent more of my 20s socializing instead of working, would I have that family? Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11. Going to trust God on that one. Either way, don't shoot the messenger for the thought. It's a blog. That's what they're for.

4. I have SO stinkin' many books I want to write. hahaha! One of them is about Christian men who "just stop calling" women. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! I had to get it off my chest, so I wrote a very heated document about it yesterday. I would love to write a book about what men should take into consideration when toying around with women's hearts. ESPECIALLY as Christians who are supposed to be held to a higher standard. Oh my lanta. I could get on a huge soapbox here if I let myself, but I'll save it for another time. Isn't this a running blog? Well, where do you think I spend most of my time thinking? :)

5. I'm completely at risk for becoming a complete recluse when it comes to technology. haha! I'm SO going to be one of those people when I'm old who has let every technological advancement pass them by. I'm going to depend entirely on the nursing home society to handle it for me. :)While I do use the gadgets, I don't entirely like them. Man, give me a pen and paper. Give me a moment without my cell phone. Give me a good ol rotary phone and a landline. Heck, as much fun as Garmin is in the car, I'd just as well like a good old-fashioned map. Weren't those fun? Especially when it came to folding them back the way they were originally.

6. Okay, this is turning into a long list of grievances, so here's a positive one. Wedding receptions might be the most wonderful of all events on the planet! :) How fun is it to watch a bride and groom at the absolute height of bliss? :) Plus, you get to catch up with so many friends you'd otherwise never see. And there's always good music. It's an absolute blast! Thanks for the great party, Clay and Liz! :)

7. Should I buy a house?

8. Yesterday's run was such an absolute joy. The weather was wonderful, and it didn't turn the slightest bit hot until I rounded the corner for the final mile of my 14. It was beautiful timing! Great pace (7:45) and strong legs. I'm tempted to bump it up by a mile next week just for kicks. I've been doing 14 for so many weeks now that I'm bored. Have I told you all that I'm training for a fall half marathon? Yep! That's the plan! :)

Okay...I gotta go to a meeting at church. Thanks for listening. All three of you who reads this. :)

Ciao!
-Jill :)

Unafraid

I have been thinking. . . We tend to do that as runners.

This week, my best friend from childhood experienced a HUGE tragedy. She's about to become a first-time mom in a few months, and she just lost her husband. They'd been married for only two years and had a wonderful start on their life together. Now, that's all changed.

Inevitably, when something like this happens, our tendnecy is to make it about us. "What on earth do I say? How do I help? What if I don't say the right thing? What if I...?" Hopefully, after a while, we get the Holy Spirit's anointing to realize that it doesn't matter as long as we are willing to lock arms with them and love them. When we let Jesus take over, we realize that He equips us and will use us to bring them love if we let Him. We don't have to worry about what to say, He provides the words.

But how interesting. I was thinking about this as I ran this weekend--how we fear our love for people sometimes. We fear allowing ourselves to go deep with people and get dirty with them in the challenges of life. We fear being inadequate. We fear lack of knowledge and wisdom. We fear how it will make us give up our comfort. We fear. We fear. We fear.

Jesus doesn't.

Jesus is so much different from us in His love. He isn't afraid of His love for us. He loves us intensely and authentically. He loves us deeply and passionately. He isn't afraid of our problems, of our sins, of our issues, of our trials, of our hurts. He isn't afraid to be with us when we hurt the most. He isn't afraid of not having the words to say or the strength to love. He isn't afraid. He is strong in His love. He is steady in His love. He is powerful in His love.

When no one else knows how to love us, Jesus does. When no one else is strong enough to be there with us in intense pain, Jesus is. He loves completely and with the most intense, fierce compassion we'll ever know. If we go to Him, He will be there. He will be RIGHT there. He will be there with force. With unshakable, unbreakable love.

That's how our Lord is different. Where we fear, He doesn't. He is unafraid of His love for us. KNOW that today.