I really just had to laugh this morning when I read the Scripture assigned to the devotion I was reading. It pretty much addressed my current situation in such a vivid way that I really could only laugh. Oh, Father. You know. . . :)
So, there have been a TON of changes in my life lately including the change of a job and, of course, the pending marriage. Add to that the fact that we're looking for a new place to live, and I'm pretty much on a totally different path than I was even at the start of the year.
I'll be completely honest. It's been HARD to trust God through this. Not with the marriage. I'm sure I'm with the Mighty Man of my dreams. Not with the living situation. Duh. I'm sure I'm supposed to share a roof with my hubby. Not with the job situation. I'm sure I followed the Lord's guiding. But the trust has come in provision more than anything. Now that I'm an independent writer and editor, I no longer have a steady paycheck. It's a little bit different than what I've been used to in the past.
Okay, a lot different.
Okay, drastically different.
Okay, like, it's killin' me.
Not that I'm starving to death. Not that I don't have work. Praise God! He's blessed me with plenty to keep me busy. But the absence of a steady paycheck and benefits has really rocked my boat, and I've found it to be the latest hot-button stressor in my life. (There's always something the enemy uses, and this one is it for me right now.)
We had a great meeting at church last night, and the topic came up about how easy it is for our mood to be based on our bottom line. Whether or not we have money determines our level of peace and joy. Oh, man. Talk about convicting. While that's entirely human, it is just that: entirely human.
Jesus told us over and over to seek Him and He would provide. The Word CLEARLY states that God is faithful and will meet all of our needs. So, why is it so difficult for me to trust that He will cover me in this area? I'm seeking Him. I'm doing the work He brings. I'm seeking out more. I believe I'm doing His will. What more do I need to do? Learn to trust in the process. I think that's the key.
This is why I laughed when I read the passage from the devo today. Check out Daniel 6:1-10:
Darius decided to appoint 120 satraps over the kingdom, stationed throughout the realm, 2 and over them three administrators, including Daniel. These satraps would be accountable to them so that the king would not be defrauded. 3 Daniel distinguished himself above the administrators and satraps because he had an extraordinary spirit, so the king planned to set him over the whole realm. 4 The administrators and satraps, therefore, kept trying to find a charge against Daniel regarding the kingdom. But they could find no charge or corruption, for he was trustworthy, and no negligence or corruption was found in him. 5 Then these men said, “We will never find any charge against this Daniel unless we find something against him concerning the law of his God.”
6 So the administrators and satraps went together to the king and said to him, “May King Darius live forever. 7 All the administrators of the kingdom, the prefects, satraps, advisers, and governors have agreed that the king should establish an ordinance and enforce an edict that for 30 days, anyone who petitions any god or man except you, the king, will be thrown into the lions’ den. 8 Therefore, Your Majesty, establish the edict and sign the document so that, as a law of the Medes and Persians, it is irrevocable and cannot be changed.” 9 So King Darius signed the document.
10 When Daniel learned that the document had been signed, he went into his house. The windows in its upper room opened toward Jerusalem, and three times a day he got down on his knees, prayed, and gave thanks to his God, just as he had done before.
Verse 10 was what got me. When Daniel learned this tragic news, he did JUST what he had done before. He went and prayed and THANKED God. What an awesome response!! :) You know, when we get challenging news, how often do we turn IMMEDIATELY to God and pray? Better yet, how often do we include thanks? Even better yet, how often do we do so in front of a window in the face of our enemies so that they can CLEARLY see that we aren't afraid of them and that we trust God and will seek Him no matter what?
I just laughed. Daniel wasn't shaken at all. He went straight to an open window and prayed and thanked God.
Today, I want Daniel's faith. Well, I want Jill's faith, but with extra strength from the Lord. I want to trust Him completely--to find His peace and joy regardless knowing that HE IS FAITHFUL.
If you're like me today, would you join me in praying and trusting and praising? Let's actually trust God. Let's actually really accept His peace and believe His Word when it says that He'll supply all of our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus. A friend told me last week that there are more than 8,000 promises in the Bible. With a faithful and honest God, we can trust them all.
Love you all!
- Jill
Monday, April 23, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
Rescue Me
It sounds kind of cliche, but I'm on a path of self-discovery. Long story, and one that really doesn't need to be posted on the internet. (Wait for the best-seller. haha! JK.) But it's one that has been 32 years in the making.
I've posted about it before, but it's something that keeps unfolding in my life: how much I abandoned my true self in order to become someone I thought others expected and wanted me to be. The fact that who I was created to be wasn't good enough and that something else was better.
After 32 years, hours of therapy (haha! totally serious), scads of books, and a LOT of prayer, I'm finally starting to embrace Jill as she is.
In part of this journey, I'm learning that it's possible to be a strong woman without abandoning womanhood altogether. Ladies, I don't know if you've ever read the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge, but in this book they say that one of the common desires among all women is the longing to be rescued. Amen!!
As little girls, we dream about being one of those movie princesses or damsels who is fought for and saved by a brave, gritty, manly warrior. Okay, the princes weren't all that gritty, but the heroes I loved really were. I had a particular eye for Robin Hood. Now there was a warrior! Not only did he love robbing the rich to save the poor, he also loved Maid Marian and scaled walls, shot flaming arrows, and faced death for her. My heart awakened in new ways when the Kevin Costner version of the movie came out. I will never forget how I felt when Marian tearfully embraces him, crying, "You came for me!" And he responds, "I would die for you." OH MY! From that day on, I wanted a man who would fight for and die for me.
Today, I don't think women realize that these desires are okay. At least I didn't. Part of what I've wrestled with is trying to be both a woman and a man--to be strong, powerful and fierce in order to keep up with the men today. To follow the trend of gender equality. To make a name for all women out there by rising to the top. To show everyone that we're just the same as men and that we don't need to be rescued.
But we do! Oh, so desperately. I don't know a woman alive who doesn't need to be rescued. Really. You can argue with me, but I'll stand by what I believe. I'm convinced that it's part of how God made us.
But here's the thing. I also realize that not all women are going to be "rescued" by a man here on earth. There are plenty of women who will be single all their lives. That's more than okay! The rescue doesn't have to happen at the hands of a Robin Hood. (Or, in my case, of a Mighty Man--Love you!) It first happens at the hands of God--the One who creates this desire in us so that we will come to Him first.
Do you realize that Jesus already fought for and died for you? I know this post is speaking more to the heart of women today, but it's what's on my mind. Ladies, you HAVE a Prince. His name is Jesus. He fought for you. He went to a cross for you. He healed women just like you. He forgave them. He rescued sinful women from being stoned. He LOVES you. He did die for you! And He's also coming back for you.
GOOD HEAVENS! Even just writing this makes me want to cry. My Lord, my Jesus, my Prince is fighting for me and rescuing me. Hallelujah! And I don't have to ignore the fact that I want Him to. I was created to want that! I don't have to pretend anymore. I am a woman who needs to be rescued. Thankfully, I have a Lord who has. And is. And always will.
Ladies, it's okay if you want to be rescued. We were designed to be! You don't have to be a man. You don't have to be so strong that you bear the weight of the fight on your own. You don't have to ignore the desires of your heart--that tender side is okay! Let Jesus fight for and rescue you. I'll say it again: He loves you so much that He died for you. Let Him be your knight in shining armor! Or, in my case, the best gritty Robin Hood ever. :)
Men, sorry this was all about the ladies, but hopefully it will help you understand us a little more. Someday I'll write another blog on how Jesus wants to strengthen you guys and equip you and actually use you as part of the rescuing process for us women. But later. :)
Before I go, however, I want to honor my Mighty Man, who truly rescues me daily. God is using you, my love, to help me understand Jesus' love for me more and more. I'm so humbled and grateful to be your princess. :) Praising Him for you this morning. :) Thank you for being His warrior. :)
Love and hugs to you all!
- Jill
I've posted about it before, but it's something that keeps unfolding in my life: how much I abandoned my true self in order to become someone I thought others expected and wanted me to be. The fact that who I was created to be wasn't good enough and that something else was better.
After 32 years, hours of therapy (haha! totally serious), scads of books, and a LOT of prayer, I'm finally starting to embrace Jill as she is.
In part of this journey, I'm learning that it's possible to be a strong woman without abandoning womanhood altogether. Ladies, I don't know if you've ever read the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge, but in this book they say that one of the common desires among all women is the longing to be rescued. Amen!!
As little girls, we dream about being one of those movie princesses or damsels who is fought for and saved by a brave, gritty, manly warrior. Okay, the princes weren't all that gritty, but the heroes I loved really were. I had a particular eye for Robin Hood. Now there was a warrior! Not only did he love robbing the rich to save the poor, he also loved Maid Marian and scaled walls, shot flaming arrows, and faced death for her. My heart awakened in new ways when the Kevin Costner version of the movie came out. I will never forget how I felt when Marian tearfully embraces him, crying, "You came for me!" And he responds, "I would die for you." OH MY! From that day on, I wanted a man who would fight for and die for me.
Today, I don't think women realize that these desires are okay. At least I didn't. Part of what I've wrestled with is trying to be both a woman and a man--to be strong, powerful and fierce in order to keep up with the men today. To follow the trend of gender equality. To make a name for all women out there by rising to the top. To show everyone that we're just the same as men and that we don't need to be rescued.
But we do! Oh, so desperately. I don't know a woman alive who doesn't need to be rescued. Really. You can argue with me, but I'll stand by what I believe. I'm convinced that it's part of how God made us.
But here's the thing. I also realize that not all women are going to be "rescued" by a man here on earth. There are plenty of women who will be single all their lives. That's more than okay! The rescue doesn't have to happen at the hands of a Robin Hood. (Or, in my case, of a Mighty Man--Love you!) It first happens at the hands of God--the One who creates this desire in us so that we will come to Him first.
Do you realize that Jesus already fought for and died for you? I know this post is speaking more to the heart of women today, but it's what's on my mind. Ladies, you HAVE a Prince. His name is Jesus. He fought for you. He went to a cross for you. He healed women just like you. He forgave them. He rescued sinful women from being stoned. He LOVES you. He did die for you! And He's also coming back for you.
GOOD HEAVENS! Even just writing this makes me want to cry. My Lord, my Jesus, my Prince is fighting for me and rescuing me. Hallelujah! And I don't have to ignore the fact that I want Him to. I was created to want that! I don't have to pretend anymore. I am a woman who needs to be rescued. Thankfully, I have a Lord who has. And is. And always will.
Ladies, it's okay if you want to be rescued. We were designed to be! You don't have to be a man. You don't have to be so strong that you bear the weight of the fight on your own. You don't have to ignore the desires of your heart--that tender side is okay! Let Jesus fight for and rescue you. I'll say it again: He loves you so much that He died for you. Let Him be your knight in shining armor! Or, in my case, the best gritty Robin Hood ever. :)
Men, sorry this was all about the ladies, but hopefully it will help you understand us a little more. Someday I'll write another blog on how Jesus wants to strengthen you guys and equip you and actually use you as part of the rescuing process for us women. But later. :)
Before I go, however, I want to honor my Mighty Man, who truly rescues me daily. God is using you, my love, to help me understand Jesus' love for me more and more. I'm so humbled and grateful to be your princess. :) Praising Him for you this morning. :) Thank you for being His warrior. :)
Love and hugs to you all!
- Jill
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