Rescue Me

It sounds kind of cliche, but I'm on a path of self-discovery. Long story, and one that really doesn't need to be posted on the internet. (Wait for the best-seller. haha! JK.) But it's one that has been 32 years in the making.

I've posted about it before, but it's something that keeps unfolding in my life: how much I abandoned my true self in order to become someone I thought others expected and wanted me to be. The fact that who I was created to be wasn't good enough and that something else was better.

After 32 years, hours of therapy (haha! totally serious), scads of books, and a LOT of prayer, I'm finally starting to embrace Jill as she is.

In part of this journey, I'm learning that it's possible to be a strong woman without abandoning womanhood altogether. Ladies, I don't know if you've ever read the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge, but in this book they say that one of the common desires among all women is the longing to be rescued. Amen!!

As little girls, we dream about being one of those movie princesses or damsels who is fought for and saved by a brave, gritty, manly warrior. Okay, the princes weren't all that gritty, but the heroes I loved really were. I had a particular eye for Robin Hood. Now there was a warrior! Not only did he love robbing the rich to save the poor, he also loved Maid Marian and scaled walls, shot flaming arrows, and faced death for her. My heart awakened in new ways when the Kevin Costner version of the movie came out. I will never forget how I felt when Marian tearfully embraces him, crying, "You came for me!" And he responds, "I would die for you." OH MY! From that day on, I wanted a man who would fight for and die for me.

Today, I don't think women realize that these desires are okay. At least I didn't. Part of what I've wrestled with is trying to be both a woman and a man--to be strong, powerful and fierce in order to keep up with the men today. To follow the trend of gender equality. To make a name for all women out there by rising to the top. To show everyone that we're just the same as men and that we don't need to be rescued.

But we do! Oh, so desperately. I don't know a woman alive who doesn't need to be rescued. Really. You can argue with me, but I'll stand by what I believe. I'm convinced that it's part of how God made us.

But here's the thing. I also realize that not all women are going to be "rescued" by a man here on earth. There are plenty of women who will be single all their lives. That's more than okay! The rescue doesn't have to happen at the hands of a Robin Hood. (Or, in my case, of a Mighty Man--Love you!) It first happens at the hands of God--the One who creates this desire in us so that we will come to Him first.

Do you realize that Jesus already fought for and died for you? I know this post is speaking more to the heart of women today, but it's what's on my mind. Ladies, you HAVE a Prince. His name is Jesus. He fought for you. He went to a cross for you. He healed women just like you. He forgave them. He rescued sinful women from being stoned. He LOVES you. He did die for you! And He's also coming back for you.

GOOD HEAVENS! Even just writing this makes me want to cry. My Lord, my Jesus, my Prince is fighting for me and rescuing me. Hallelujah! And I don't have to ignore the fact that I want Him to. I was created to want that! I don't have to pretend anymore. I am a woman who needs to be rescued. Thankfully, I have a Lord who has. And is. And always will.

Ladies, it's okay if you want to be rescued. We were designed to be! You don't have to be a man. You don't have to be so strong that you bear the weight of the fight on your own. You don't have to ignore the desires of your heart--that tender side is okay! Let Jesus fight for and rescue you. I'll say it again: He loves you so much that He died for you. Let Him be your knight in shining armor! Or, in my case, the best gritty Robin Hood ever. :)

Men, sorry this was all about the ladies, but hopefully it will help you understand us a little more. Someday I'll write another blog on how Jesus wants to strengthen you guys and equip you and actually use you as part of the rescuing process for us women. But later. :)

Before I go, however, I want to honor my Mighty Man, who truly rescues me daily. God is using you, my love, to help me understand Jesus' love for me more and more. I'm so humbled and grateful to be your princess. :) Praising Him for you this morning. :) Thank you for being His warrior. :)

Love and hugs to you all!
- Jill

The REAL Highest and Greatest End

I don't know what it is about dried flowers, but I can't make myself get rid of them. haha! :) Ever since the Mighty Man and I got engaged, I have been dreading the moment when I would have to dispose of my beautiful roses. So, I just decided that I'm not gonna. I cleaned out the vase, placed half of the dried petals in an old jar and then kept seven of the dried roses/stems and put them in a smaller bottle along with the baby's breath sprigs. It looks awesome! :) Thanks for the lovely flowers, Mighty Man. You are my knight in shining armor, and you rescue me daily. :)

Cool news this week! The Examiner.com picked me up as a stringer to cover Christianity in the Kansas City area! Yay!! I'm enjoying writing so far, and it's been an awesome outlet for me to cover topics outside of my comfort zone (i.e. sports). Though, if you check out my site, you'll see that two of my three articles deal with sports. haha! But it's just to get me started. I fully want to talk about so many other things going on in the area and what God is doing here. It's going to be great!

The first article, if you haven't read it already, was about the Mighty Man's church youth outreach. It is an AMAZING ministry, and one that shouldn't happen outside of the power of God. Seriously. They don't have much money, yet they are able to reach about 200 inner-city youth every Wednesday evening by running buses all over KCK and bringing kids in to a local community center to hear God's truth. It's awesome! I'm so thankful for the pastors and volunteers.

I've been communicating a lot about our church lately, so I'm hoping you're not tired of hearing about it. But I guess that's part of what God is doing in my heart lately. He's inspiring me through what He's doing in this teeny tiny little church at 4473 Adams. And it's making me realize how lopsided my view of impact has been for so many years.

I've worked in a global ministry for almost 10 years, and I think on some level, I've adopted the mindset that the only way to make a difference is to "go big or go home," but that's so not true. God has a purpose for FCA on a global scale, but it doesn't in any way lessen the power of what He's doing in small churches like Rosedale. The impact on those kids on Wednesday nights is every bit as meaningful as the impact of a colossal sports ministry that has to operate on the big scale. It's just a different situation. Not greater, not lesser. It's just different.

It's kind of changing my heart, too. I've always thought that I had to be part of something global and work toward the highest and greatest possible end. But what if the highest and greatest possible end looks small by the world's standards? What if the highest and greatest possible end is a one-on-one relationship with a girl at Rosedale who needs a hug? What if the highest and greatest possible end is putting $5 in the pouch at church as it passes by, even if it's not in my "big" weekly tithe? What if the highest and greatest possible end is being led around a crowded gym floor at a community center by a tiny 5-year-old girl who just wants to play for a while? I'm getting it now. The highest and greatest possible end can't be measured by human standards. It must be measured by God's.

So, today I'm celebrating the work of God at every level. Yes, my "work" at a worldwide ministry is awesome, but so is the new adventure at Rosedale Church, which is most certainly making a big difference in the community. Praise God for whatever He's doing wherever He's doing it. In His eyes, it's all Kingdom-sized. :)

Love you all!
- Jill

OH! And you can follow me on the Examiner.com. Just click here to subscribe! Thanks, all!!
http://www.examiner.com/user-jill-ewert