Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Day 40...

I'm starting to love Tuesdays! I remember being pretty anxious about speedwork to this point, but I was actually looking forward to it this morning. And it was TOTALLY blessed. Great time, great energy. I didn't kill myself like I did last week, but I kept up awesome 10K and 5K paces for 2- and 1-mile repeats. Nine miles total!

Here's the thing, though. Tell me if I'm the only one who ever does this. I found myself praying for the run, but almost in a gambling mentality. After I'd prayed for strength, endurance, focus, joy and all the good things, I also prayed for an available treadmill. TOTALLY a great prayer to pray when you only have two available treadmills and a small community. And Philippians 4:6 tells us to pray about EVERYTHING.

But, after I'd asked God to reserve one for me, I got into an interesting train of thought. As I was driving to the workout facility, I literally was thinking, "Come oooooon, God. Let me have a treadmill." Literally like I was rolling dice.

Thankfully, God, in His mercy, stopped the train of thought by speaking VERY clearly into my spirit: "Are you gambling on Me? Is our relationship a game of craps?" Woah. That was like a sucker punch to the gut. How could I POSSIBLY go there? Has He not provided all things, not only in my training, but in my life? This is GOD! He's not a pair of dice! He's not a genie! He's not a wishing well! Holy cow! How could I be so shallow?

I'm so grateful that He showed me my own thoughts and revealed my perspective. "Lord, forgive me for reducing You to a slot machine. I am unbelievably sorry for how I abuse Your provision and for my horribly wrong view of You. Please give me perspective. Help me to see You for who You truly are. Help me to know and believe that You are GOD. Help me to take my eyes off of myself and to put them back on You as the reason for everything I do. I'm scum today, Lord, but I thank You for Your forgiveness, love and mercy and grace. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen."

Prayer requests:
-For recovery from the great speedwork. Small ache in the knee and right arch.
-For my upcoming visit with the Military Minsitry staff. YAY!!
-For our troops and God's love to be showered on them, especially those away from home.

Ciao, friends!

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