Saturday, January 30, 2010

Day 30...

"Houston, we have a problem."

Well, okay. In God's eternal and gracious perspective, this isn't a problem. It's an opportunity to learn. So, let's learn.

I'm taking an unscheduled maintenance day. It's good, and it doesn't hurt the training plan at all because I was due for an off day. I was just hoping that it would be tomorrow instead of today. But this way, I'll get to run with Jackie again tomorrow.

Anyway, here's the scoop. After yesterday's enlightenment and great Abraham/Isaac situation, I realized that I was probably being prideful. Um, Jill. . . When your body talks like that, LISTEN. Yes, I believe God was proud of me for getting on the elliptical. When I experienced the peace that came with that decision, I assumed it was a green light to go back my own way. It probably wasn't. I probably should have stayed on the elliptical and stayed in the center of where God was proud of me. Duh.

But the run was so great yesterday! What was wrong with it? Just simply the fact that for the rest of the day, my knee was totally jacked up. That's what. All day yesterday, that stabbing, random pain was making it difficult to walk. AND I can feel my anterior tibial tendon on my right leg acting up, too. It's like I'm falling apart!

I'm not ashamed to admit that I broke down with God last night. There is so much invested in this training program. There's purpose! Why would He allow this? Am I not doing His will? God, what's going on? This isn't right! It's not fair! I'm doing YOUR work! Why are You allowing me to be injured?

To those questions I don't know the answer. But what I do know is that the attitude is a problem. Ask not "Why" but "What." Lord, what are You doing here and how can I learn from it and serve You through it? You've allowed this to happen, so I ask You to teach me things in this trial and to help me bring You glory through it. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know that this isn't about me. It's about You. May Your name be praised.

This morning, I believe there was a bit of a mini miracle. I'm moving, right? Well, in my stack of boxes, I saw, out of the corner of my eye, the shoe box to my old pair of shoes (the black and muddy Sauconys). While I'd been told that they were 8.5s, the box, curiously was labeled 9.5. Interesting...So, I went back to the muddy Sauconys and looked at the label on the inside. While most of it was worn away, sure enough, it was labeled 9.5. Why is this significant? Because when I'd purchased my new pair, I'd wanted the EXACT same shoe that I'd been running in. So, even though the 8.5s I tried on were way too tight, I thought they were the exact same shoe and that my feet were just swollen.

Um, no. They are one full size too small.

Why is that significant? Because that will SCREW you UP! I've been running HARD all week in poor footwear! It was an honest mistake. Totally honest mistake! My desire had been pure and smart, training-wise. Get the SAME shoe and don't mess with what's working! But it had been foiled by a little miscommunication and my own lack of attention to detail.

So, what's going to happen now? For starters, I'm going to run in my old shoes tomorrow. Provided my knee and right shin are feeling okay. Then, I'm going to go back to the shoe store and beg for mercy. If they don't take the new ones back, then I will learn a lesson the hard way and buy the right shoe.

Prayer warriors, I ask you to pray. Pray for healing, for starters. I need God's hand to touch my knee and shin and repair the damage that was done this week.

Second, please pray that I would be guided in wisdom and react better to snags and challenges as they come up this spring. May my attitude bring Him glory. It. Is. Not. About. Me.

Thanks, friends.


  1. Jill,

    I am so proud of you! I know it is hard to learn things like this, but I am so glad that you listened!

    Here is a cool quote I heard recently.. "if you can trust God with Eternity, can you trust Him with the now?"

    Praying for healing! And remember you still have all of February, all of March and 21 days in May. There is still time!!! YEA!


  2. I meant 21 days in April.. whoops! :-)